International Jokes

A Scotsman walking through a field
Nice one
A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm
English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

English

There are many types of English Jokes. This site is an introduction to some of them. Many English jokes begin as follows:-


Knock! Knock!

What did ...... say to .........?

What do you get if you cross a ..... with a .....?

What has ....?

What is ....?
*

What do you call .........?

What's the difference between ..... and .....?

Have you heard the joke about ......?

English jokes are often made around names, misunderstandings, similar-sounding words (puns, homophones). Some jokes are portrayed as a part of a conversation. Much of the subject of jokes is also traditional - about toilets, drunks, pubs, etc. Particularly silly jokes, which are loved by children, are called:- The Elephant Jokes, The Wally Jokes, etc. Samples of these are also included.
New oNE
Irish -
be Proud
A Dublin man living in
London was ashamed of his accent, and decided to go to elocution lessons
Three years later he was speaking perfect BBC English, and he decided to return

home and celebrate with a drink.
He caught the Shuttle to Belfast, got a taxi into the city and walked into the

first establishment he came to.
'I say, old chap,' he said to the proprietor, 'perhaps you could furnish me with a

large gin and tonic and one of your finest Havana cigars.'
'You're from around these parts, aren't you?' said the proprietor.
'Good grief,' said the stunned Belfast man. 'How did you know that?'
'Well, you see,' said the proprietor, 'this is a butcher's.'