GOD wanted Jesus to be born in Australia, but he couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
DID you hear about the Australian shoplifter? He was found crushed beneath the local supermarket.
A MAN has an interview for immigration into Australia. The interviewer says to him: "Do you have a police record?" "What?" replies the man. "Do you still need one to get in?"
Q: WHAT'S Australian for foreplay? A: When the man says: "Wake up, Sheila."
Q: HOW do you describe a well-balanced Australian? A: One with a chip on both shoulders
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