The Scottish bus driver was giving a tour of Scotland to a group of tourists. The tour went through the countryside and the driver would point out sights of interest. He drove by this one area and said, "Over there is where the Scottish PULVERIZED the English." They drove on a little further and the driver pointed to another area along the roadway and said, "This is the place where the Scottish MASSACRED the English." Not much further down the road the driver told his passengers that on the right was the great battlefield where the Scottish WHIPPED the English.
About that time a man on the bus, with a stiff English accent, said, "My good man, didn't the English win any battles around here"? "Not when I'm driving the bus" was the response.