Australian

What do you call a field full of Australians ?

A vacant lot.

Parachutes

An Englishman, an Irishman, an Australian and a New
Zealander were onboard a plane, getting ready to make their
first parachute jump. The Englishman's exit was spectacular; he
leapt out of the plane with the cry, " I am doing this for my
country......" The Irishman leapt out immediately afterwards,
calling out the same words. Then the New Zealanders ripped the
parachute off the Australian, pushed him out of the plane and
cried, "I am doing this for my country......"

How do you define 144 Australians ?

Gross stupidity.

Height and Position

The Aussie pilot, when asked for his height and position,
replied, "I'm 5"11' and sitting in the front seat."

An Aussie is proof that God has a sense humour.

Did you hear about the Aussie who had a brain transplant ?

The brain rejected him a week later.

Did you know that New Zealanders who eimigrate to Australia
raise the IQ of both countries ?