What is the German word for constipation?
Farfrompoopin.
What's the difference between an English, a French and a German pensioner?T
he English one takes a Whisky and goes fishing.The French one takes a glass of wine and goes playing Boule.The Germany one takes his cardiac drug and goes to work.
"Two Martinis, bitte."
"Dry?"
"Nein, I said TWO!"
German Jokes!
"What would you like sir?"
"Ein bloody steak."
"Well, do you want some f****** chips with it too?"
Why are so many Germans born by C-section?Ever try to get a square head through a round hole?
Why do Germans have huge heads?Otherwise the mouth would not fit in!
Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.
One day Hitler decided to go to a psychic to find out what day he would die. After looking though her crystal ball, the psychic replied, "MeinFuhrer, you shall die on a Jewish Holiday." Hitler was shocked! He said, "Well which holiday is it?" The psychic replied "Fuhrer, the day that you die will always be a Jewish Holiday."
Three guys are debating about which of their languages is themost pleasing to the ear. The Spaniard says, "Consider the word for 'butterfly'. In Spanish, this is Mariposa, a beautiful sounding word." The French guy says, "True, but Papillon is even more beautiful". "What's wrong with Schmetterlink?", says the German...
A Glossary of English/German Motoring Terms
Indicators Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken
Bonnet (Hood) Die Pullnob und knucklechopper
Exhaust Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben
Clutch Die Kulink mit schlippen und schaken
Puncture Die Phlatt mit Bludyfucken
Learner Die twatte mit ellplatzEstate
Car Der Bagmerroom furschagginkinauto
Near Accident Der Fukken ner Schittenselfen
Parking Meter Der Tennerpinscher und Klockenqweer
Windscreen Wiper Der Flippenflappen muckenschpredder
Footbrake Der Edbangeronvindschreen Stoppenquick
Gear lever Bigenschticken fur Kangarooshtoppen
Breathalyser Die Puffitintem fur Pistenarsen
Rear View Mirror Der Yokhunter Tucklosen
Seat Belt Der Klunkinklikker Frauleintrapper
Headlights Das Dipperenderdazzlubastad
Exhaust (old cars) Der Kaffenundschpitpolluter
Highway Code Der Wipenfurarsen
Fog Warning Die Puttenfootdownen und fukkit
Traffic jam Die Bluddifukkinnk Dammundblast
Rear Seat Der Schpringentester mit Fraulein
Tires Flahttfarts
Backfire Der Lowdenbangenmekkenjumpen
Accident Der Bledinmess
Garage Der heiway Robberung
Cyclist Der pedallpushinink Pillocken
Skid Der Banannan Waltzen
Double White und Krunchen
Lines Overtaken
Automobile Honkenbrakenscreecher
Gasoline Honkenbrakenscreecherzoomerjuicen
Driver Honkenbrakenscreecherguidenschtunker
Auto Mechanic Honkenbrakenscreecherknockengepinger-sputtergefixer
Repair Bill Bankenrollergebustenuptottenliste
Truck Der Fukkengratentrucken
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