"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."
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Hotel Guest: 'Can you give me a room and a bath, please?' Receptionist: 'I can give you a room, but you'll have to take your own bath.'
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A man was passing a country estate and saw a sign on the gate. It read: "Please ring bell for the caretaker." He rang the bell and an old man appeared. "Are you the caretaker?" the fellow asked. "Yes, I am," replied the old man. "What do you want?" "I'd just like to know why you can't ring the bell yourself."
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Did you hear about the 2 men from the monastery who opened up a fast food seafood restaurant? One was the fish friar, and the other was the chip monk.
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My brother said, 'You'd better know from the start that my favourite food is trash and onions.' The girl said, 'Tripe.' He said, 'Don't start arguing before we're married.'
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